Friday, 6 December 2013

Ramblings of a tired mind

So friends,

It's day 6 of the blog-a-day-a-thon, and it's also a Friday. Since I work the conventional five out of seven days, this is the final of my work based days, so I want to relax rather then blog. I've already managed to devour a sneaky take-away pizza while enjoying some tivo'd Futurama, and now, before I hit up some 'The Last of Us' on my sweet last generation PS3, I am going to ramble on the internet.

Sometimes 'T's don't come out properly on forms, they can very easily look like lower case 'L's. It's usually pretty obvious though, and doesn't often lead to hilarious incidents, but, there are several well documented cases of this tiny typo causing mass hilaritas. There is even one reported case of this typo causing a kind of lower case T blindness. The woman in question, who shall remain nameless to protect her identity, became inflicted with this terrible illness when she accidentally opened up a snail mail survey.

This survey was a simple set of questions based mainly around product awareness and brand infiltration into the public conciousness. There were twenty questions in total, and the introductory information was the section that contained the error. After a few words about the scientific outline of the survey, there was a simple line that read : Please tick your responses. Except of course, the lower case T had been misprinted and said instead : Please lick your responses. So, Tiffany, being an ever obedient public servant, began to fill out the survey, or rather, lick out the survey.

After ten minutes of licking the recycled and heavily processed survey paper, Tiffany fell into a deep ink induced coma, from which she awoke five days later unable to ever see a lower case T as a T, and to this very day she always licks out her responses. If you know of anyone else who suffers from this, please use a pen to enhance the lower case T's in everything they read, so they don't get confused.
Proud mother of A Duck.

Imagine if your name was Alexander Duck! Ghees that would suck. All your mail would be addressed to A Duck, in registers and things you would always be A Duck, and if for some reason you needed to duck out of the way of an object flying through the air and someone shouted "DUCK", you would look up and get smacked in the face by the previously mentioned un-described object. Also, people would probably assume that you liked Ducks, even if you couldn't give a flying duck about ducks, they would still think that you liked Ducks, because of your name. People would always buy you cards with Ducks on, and silly little trinkets of Ducks, and all manner of Duck and Duck related paraphernalia, you would be literally swimming in Ducks. Even worse, every time you went out to a Chinese restaurant with your friends, they would always make jokes about 'having the Duck'. I'm glad my names not Alexander Duck. Also being called Frederick Uck wouldn't be great either.
If your name is Alexander Duck, you should really
think about buying one of these sweet giant Duck houses!

Right, that's it for today, I'll come back tomorrow with something a bit more worthwhile, hopefully, probably not though, it will just be more stupid waffle.

Peace and infinite ducks

Andy Jackson

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