Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Born a Gangster, Die a Movie Star

hello friends,

Johnny sacrificed himself, to save us all. The fool died heroically, buying us the time we needed to escape from the chaos and destruction that rained down on us like so many cats and dogs and gherkins. It all felt like something out of a cheesy B-movie, cobbled together and patched up with the fevered imaginations of a boardroom full of horny male teenagers.
Bikini's and guns, a boy dream come true!
I like playing as a woman okay! Deal with it!
I am Abbilulu Kinnear, the busty purple haired, slightly odd faced leader of the Saints, a gang that don't see dying as something to fear, it's more like an occupational hazard. I have faced many a bullet, taken several hundred of 'em myself. It's okay though, if I just duck behind some wall or box for a few
seconds and seem to recover from the horrific wounds quickly leaving me free once more to unload a few thousand rounds of ammunition on my pursuers/attackers/victims/friends.
The giant purple dildo of extreme justice.
I have moved my purple gang into new territory, so we started from scratch, not owning all the sweet penthouses and modes of transportation that I ever so quickly acquired for my gang by simply doing a few weird missions, including being a contestant on an over the top Japanese style shooting maze full of people in animal costumes. I don't know what the viewership for the show is, but I recon it's made me a D-list celebrity at the very least.
Just a normal day...
It's tough being the leader of a notorious gang of essentially psychopathic killers with no regard for the sanctity of life, you have to play along. I didn't want to kill all those people, I was told to by the game, the game of life itself. We all have to ask ourselves, are we really in control of pressing the green triangle when life prompts us to? Do we really decide to franticly tap the square when our very lives are being threatened by giant clones or is there something else at work here?
Take a ride in the cat's special car with a cannon!

I don't have the answers, I merely have the power to do whatever I desire within this realm. And it seems my desire was to own everything, every territory, every last building on the whole set of islands. All mine, all for me, all for the crazy bitch psychopath with a serious attitude problem and lust for destruction...and big boobs.

This kind of indulgence proves to be an enjoyable distraction from the hum drum nature of normal daily interactive worldly duties, blowing up stuff is fun, cleaning up stuff is not fun, so it's better to indulge this activity in a pixilated world where no one really gets hurt. It is however, a rather forgettable experience, as I was the leader of the Saints back at the beginning of the year, and my subsequent adventures in alternate worlds have left bigger and deeper impressions. So for that, I give it a 6 out of 10. I mean, it was only the second ever game I have 100%.

Peace and infinite love
Andy Jackson

Day 10 of the blog-a-day-a-thon, keep enjoying the love :)

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