Once again, please read Part 1 (here) then Part 2 (here) and finally Part 3 (here) before tackling this blog right here because it's Part 4, and it won't make any sense whatsoever to you if you haven't followed the intricate plot that has unfolded over the previous instalments of this shocking time bending conspiracy.
I was being watched, closely, the tiny fruit salads had done more then just connect me into Mrs X and her magic carpet of wonders, they had also opened my mind to other realms of existence that were right there with me at all times. I was not paying close attention to these other realms at that point, for I still didn't even believe in 'How Bout That Records', and I certainly had no idea that I was to be one of it's cofounders.
5. The Alien Connection
|Magic torch for seeing aliens|
For weeks after I had been given the torch I felt no need to use it, nothing seemed to be disturbing me as I investigated the depth of 'How Bout That'. The first time I felt the need to 'shine the light' came mid winter while I was listening to a song that might have been from the future. I had found a link to an alien internet which had several songs from the Best Songs of Earth CD, also there were links to future and past releases. It took me a while to navigate around the sites as they were laid out very differently to our human internet pages, and the links were prone to be broken or faulty. Eventually, on this one night, I managed to partially download a track called '555gffffrr£@33***!'. I couldn't track down the artist name, and I wasn't quite sure how you pronounced the track name, but it was something quite unique. I had not heard anything like it before, and I am not capable of describing it with any accuracy to you. The best description I can think of involves The Beatles in a blender with dubstep, hip hop, hardcore trance and Madonna being spat out of a being that has evolved from record players. That doesn't come close to a fitting description, but it is the best I have to offer.
|The torch light effect.|
|They are watching...|
I awoke 5 days later in a different part of the country. I had no idea how I had got there, and getting back home turned out to be a mega mission and a half, for I had no money on me, and no clothes to sell either. All I had on was a pair of boxer shorts and a green scarf. I stumbled around in the forrest of a while, trying to work out what to do. I kept blacking in and out of consciousness, getting these sharp stinging pains up and down my body before falling to the ground and shaking violently for a little while. I managed to find a stream where I washed the scarf and myself. As the water covered my body I got strange flashes of some other place. Suddenly, as if a film were being projected onto my eyelids, I was shown something. It was a documentary, one from the future, all about 'How Bout That Records'. The start was the most shocking part, it was a recreation of the very situation I have been telling you about. The tiny fruit salad, the missing link, the aliens, Mrs X, they were all in there, as well as me being injected and taken to the forrest. The spookiest part was when it got to me washing myself and watching the documentary, it was so meta it made me be sick all over my knob. After that section, the documentary showed me the future, how I eventually managed to get a taxi home by selling the scarf to a goblin for five pieces of gold, how I would form 'How Bout That Records' with Mr Donny Stax, how we would end up selling billions of records in a very short space of time, how we would sign up the first intergalactic artist ever, how we would concur space, time, the universe and everything, and how we would go back in time and help form the very universe that birthed us. It was a thrilling documentary, and hopefully it will make it to mainstream television before you die, but if it doesn't, you might be able to track it down on the internet in a few decades.
|First ever release by How Bout That Records.|
The first record they ever released will be available to Pre-order in a day or two...or in the past, it depends when you read this I guess :)
Peace and Infinite Love
[adj] - Andy D Jackson