Friday, 18 May 2012

The History of 'How Bout That' Part 3

Hello friends,

Once again, if you have not read Part 1 (here) or Part 2 (here) then you will not have a clue as to what is going on in this blog. It's about to get even weirder...

So, throughout the ages of man, and even pre man, How Bout That Records was involved in all things music. The logo has been discovered in several secret ancient tombs and caves, and was even on a few copies of the original $475 bill (this was taken out of circulation after just two weeks). My research was leading me into very dangerous territory, and I had no idea what was about to happen.

4. The Best Songs Ever Recorded & the Tiny Fruit Salad

One of my contacts, we shall call her Mrs X (that's her real name) started sending me packages of information back around 2001, to begin with these packages contained small samples of soil from the different places she was visiting around the world. I took little notice of these for several years, simply pouring the soil out of each package and into a potted plant. I did not know Mrs X and given her weird mail drops to me, I had little interest in getting to know her. Also, any research I did into her revealed several people going under the names Mr or Mrs X so I couldn't narrow the search down.

Soil samples sent from around the world.
Some time around 2007 I noticed something strange about the plant growing in the pot that contained the eclectic world soil. Now I am no plant expert but I was pretty sure that plants couldn't grow multiple types of fruit on the same plant. The small tree had on it tiny apples, pears, oranges, watermelons, grapes, star fruit, kiwi fruit, pink grapefruit, strawberries and red bananas. I began harvesting the fruit and making special gourmet miniature fruit salads. I guessed that this must have had something to do with the special soil I kept receiving, so the next package that arrived from Mrs X was greeted differently. I carefully opened the package and peered inside. Much to my surprise there was no soil in it, instead there was just a single piece of paper with a website address hand written on it. I quickly looked up the address and to my shock and horror, it linked to an internet not of this world.

A tiny fruit salad from the fruit salad tree.
What I found was an advert, for a compilation CD being sold intergalactically, containing 20 of 'The Best Songs Ever Recorded on Earth'. Now, I had not heard any of these songs before, but I recognised the logo in the corner of the was 'How Bout That Records' of course. Mrs X knew what I would be researching in the future somehow, and also, she somehow found the right soil combination to create the Fruit Salad Tree. I needed to meet her and get more information.

Now what does the soil and the tiny Fruit Salad Tree have to do with the record label you might be asking, well, what happened next connected it all together.

People started reporting strange occurrences relating to the consumption of the tiny fruit salad made from the tiny fruit salad tree. I had to issue refunds as compensation for the effects of the fruit salad to almost everyone who had bought it from me, except for these two old ladies down the street who couldn't get enough of it and would be scratching at my door trying to get a fix at 2 in the morning like desperate crack addicts. I decided it would be best if I consumed some of the tiny fruit salad myself to verify all the wild claims about it.

Just keep staring at's ALIVE!!!!!
I sat in a dark room and ate the whole of a tiny fruit salad in a matter of seconds (it doesn't take long, they are only small). Nothing happened for the first half an hour or so, I started to get bored just sitting in the dark on my own, then something started to happen. Colours, bright and trippy and crazy and WOW! I was travelling across dimensions on a magic carpet with none other than Mrs X herself. She winked at me when she appeared, or more appropriately, when I appeared, since she was always there apparently. We travelled across many dimensional plains while she explained to me the nature of How Bout That, how it had spanned across the universe and infiltrated even the highest of the dimensions where only single thoughts exist for mere moments. She showed me the alien connection, and how it was my understanding of time that was wrong and causing me confusion over the whole thing. Mrs X also asked me to kindly stop giving the tiny fruit salad to other people as she didn't like sharing her magic carpet with strangers.

well How Bout That!
I had a link now, if ever I needed to converse with Mrs X I could just eat a tiny fruit salad. I would do this often to gain further insight into the history of 'How Bout That', but my travels were not going by unnoticed, something was watching me closely, and it would reveal itself to me when I started getting too close to a super secret truth of the universe...

The thrilling conclusion is coming in Part 4...

peace and infinite love

[adj] - Andy D Jackson

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