Hello friend based life forms,
Before I launch into full blogification, I have a confession to make. I am an alien. There, I said it (or, wrote it even), got it off of my space chest. It feels good to say it, makes me feel more...alien you know. I mean lets face it, would you really want to be from this planet? I know I don't, which is why it feels good to come out of the space closet and just say it, I am an alien.
I AN ALIEN! HEAR ME ROAR LIKE A SPACE LION.
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| The almighty space lion, oh yeah! |
In my time down here on Earth, I have noticed several things, mainly related to the infinite stupidity that is enacted on a minute by minute basis by the entire human race, I mean come on, surely you guys can do better then this. I was visiting an Earth bank the other day, and while standing in line (we float in line in space, queuing is usually the best part of space commerce) I witnessed a robbery, right in front of my eyes. A man in a suit and tie, very smartly groomed (probably by a team of highly trained badgers) smiled at the customer and then forced her to sign this piece of paper, and effective immediately the man had the power to crush this poor woman's whole being. I was horrified! I pushed past the queue and confronted the man, I told him to put the pen down and stop harassing these innocent people. He raised his voice at me, telling me to calm down, but I wouldn't, I shouted at him "What the fagingle are you doing here? You should be arrested". I called the space police and explained the situation, but the local Earth police arrived before the space ones, so I was forced to yet again use my alien brain scramble device to escape from the situation. If I had a yannicklistik for every time that device has saved my life I would be a rich alien that's for sure.
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| This is my cousin Hixillilix posing for the parchment. |
Anyway, let's get onto the main point of this blog, and that is that aliens have been on this planet for a long time, probably even longer then the monkey human things. Aliens are very good at covering up their tracks, that's why we don't have lots of alien footprints in mud up next to the bears and bigfoots in boring overpriced museums. Aliens are good at hiding, they are so good at it in fact that they are even in every Where's Wally book at least three times, but no one has ever seen them there ever, not even me. Well, according to this brand new song that has been channeled from the future, there have been stones dug up with pictures of aliens doing the thumbs up. As you can clearly see on the cover to the new single by Donny Stax & [adj].
The song itself tells of possible future senarios in which human kind could join us aliens up in space, it's nice up there, really it is...not as many trees in actual space, but it's nice and peaceful, you don't have to listen to anyone moaning about overpriced tinned sweetcorn or the hopeless sinking feeling in their soul at the thought of spending another day on Earth. So, as the song suggests, you humans must look to the stars for your new home.
This is the second single from the upcoming multi awarding winning debut album 'Fine' by Donny Stax & [adj], you need to get your ears around this as soon as possible, it has already broken all pre-order records in history and it isn't even pre-orderable yet! Hell yeah! You should leave a comment on the track, it will secure your place in history...do it, do it, do it NOW!!!!!
.... (pause - take a deep breath and then continue)
... (feel better for that?)
Good.
Now after you've posted a nice comment (make sure it's a nice one, us aliens don't respond well to haters), then you are free to leave this blog and go elsewhere on the internet...I suggest searching for cute kitten video's on youtube, it's the favoured pastime of all aliens on Earth.
Peace and cosmic love
[adj] - Andy D Jackson xxx
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